Thursday, January 26, 2012

Student Essay Insanity™ #72!

While cleaning out the many boxes of junk from my old Division II University office, I found about a dozen pages of essay bloopers I'd scribbled during Regents' Exam and Freshman Writing Project rating sessions. Reading over them, I realized that I hadn't yet shared most of them with you.

So what to do with them? Divide them up into more Student Essay Insanity™ posts! As always, these bloopers were produced by real students writing real essays. And, as always, they're real(ly) bad.

I shit you not. 

  • Laughter can elongate one's life.
  • Having an entire school dress the same way is a wast and robes the students.
  • Some people see marriage as a gateway to sex from their virgin significant others. 
  • The truth is that nuclear power is safe, clean, and cheep. Not cheep to get started, but cheep to fule.
  • The world today is made up of gangsters, athletes, and drug dealers. 
And my favorite of this batch:
  • The primary reason for divorce is that many of us think that other people can read our minds.

6 comments:

OHN said...

So, citing these....you could always argue that your life will be elongated by these (frighteningly) clueless students and your future is robed while seeking cheep gangsters.

My head is exploding right now.

ms. kitty said...

I howled! Thanks for an early morning laugh, Miss K!

Starr @ The Kiefer Cottage said...

You are a strong woman. Wowza! I'd have a hard time keeping a straight face.

Marie said...

It's not even punny, but "cheep to fule" is making me laugh hysterically. Thanks so much!

Miss Kitty said...

Glad everyone liked these bloopers. There are many more where these came from; I'll probably do a Student Essay Insanity™ post a couple times a month. :-)

Orchidophile said...

These are so good. I hope all is good with you!