Mama haz a bizzy

Ohai, E&P reedurs! Iz Clark E. Pie heer wif a gest poast wyle mai Mama iz srsly bizzy wif skool projex an gradin papurrs. Mama haz lots uf stuf 2 git dun dis week, an she wuz wurried dat teh blog wud go wifowt. "Butt (!) dat iz wat ur kittehs r foar!" I tolded her. "I rites 4 ur blog til yu haz tiem 2 rite agin!"

So heer I sitz, purrin awn Mama's bed an lookin kyoot. Nawt 2 wurry, Mama wil b bak 2 rite in a day or 2. Plz 2 stay toond, kthxbai!

Owner of a Famous Video

Unlike the videos I've posted for the last few weeks, this one was not directed by Godley & Creme. Nonetheless, it's still one of the most memorable music videos of the 1980s. "Owner of a Lonely Heart" catapulted Yes onto many people's "Legendary Videos" list.

The weird part in the middle, where four of the band members transform into animals, really bothers me. I didn't understand it back then; as an adult, it seems superfluous, just a break to show off some cool video ideas that the director couldn't place anywhere else. Watch, though, for the kitteh transformation at 1:51. The "meow" is cute in the midst of the frighteningly dystopian plot and setting.

Saturday Kittehs: 11/26/11

This Saturday after Thanksgiving finds the weather mild and overcast in Small Town, GA. I'm on my way to meet Mom, El Seebeno, my sister, and her husband for breakfast. The kittehs have been only semi-traumatized by all the holiday visitors, which is pretty good considering some of the shy cats around the HKC. Crooked-eared little Joy here, who recently turned 12, still wants her daily snuggles no matter who comes to visit.

Even during this holiday weekend, I have so many projects going that I'm busier than the proverbial shit-covering cat on the proverbial marble floor. So I'll be coming back to the Happy Kitten Cottage after breakfast to work for most of the morning and early afternoon, while Mom & Pixie go fabric shopping in D2U City. I'd go, but I'd feel much better getting some work done today.

Hope everyone's having a great Thanksgiving weekend!

A Thanksgiving cooking video

And here's a Thanksgiving video to brighten up your day, just in case the in-laws are making you crazy. "Put the F*cking Turkey in the Oven" is what Mom would probably call her own holiday cuisine program. I disagree with "Aunt Mary," though—holiday turkey can be excellent. Mom's Thanksgiving bird is truly awesome.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2011!

Hope you're all having a wonderful Thanksgiving day. My sister and brother-in-law arrive late this evening, and our family Thanksgiving dinner will be on Friday. I'm making corn souffle, homemade cornbread, and perhaps homemade macaroni and cheese, if I can get to the grocery store in one piece and find everything I need. Perhaps the crowds will have thinned out some by the time I do my shopping late Thursday night or early Friday morning.

This Thanksgiving Day finds me scattered (but not smothered). In addition to the loads of ungraded papers, I'm also facing two major graduate school projects, the first of which is due Wed 30 Nov at 6:00pm. Wish I could say I'd grade the papers later, but we're at the very end of the semester, and the sooner I get these done, scanned, and sent to students, the better.

So I'm sitting here trying to figure out a plan. The bad thing is that it seems everything is extremely important, and I've been dithering for several days now. I'll figure something out. It just hasn't come to me yet.

I guess the good news is that I decided not to return to Somewhat Larger University next semester if I can help it at all. I know for sure that I am beyond burned out with teaching—and no matter what anyone tells you, teaching is not one of those jobs where a burned-out person can "punch the clock" until something better comes along. Burned-out teachers biding their time do so much damage without realizing it.

Even if I'm working for a temp agency or in retail, I'm leaving SLU. As long as I can bring home just enough to live on while continuing my graduate courses, I'll be all right.

Today and every day, I have much to be thankful for.

Mom goes to Emory

But not to attend school, unfortunately.

A few weeks ago, Mom noticed a large blurry spot in her left-eye peripheral vision. She had also been seeing floaters and flashes of light at weird times---none of which are normal. Her optometrist examined her and found fluid building up behind her left eye---also not normal, and a bad sign.

Today we're at the Emory University Eye Clinic so a retinologist can photograph the inside of Mom's eyes. Since the doctor may end up having to do the "dye in the veins" test, and since Mom dislikes driving by herself in Atlanta, I'm squiring her around today.

So we're waiting Mom's turn in front of the eye camera, hoping for a good prognosis. I'll post more news when I hear it.

Update, Wed 23 Nov: The trip to Emory Eye Clinic lasted all day—we left Mom's house at 9:45am, and returned at 9:00pm. The retinologist performed all kinds of tests, including the "dye in the veins" test, and took dozens of pictures.

There are quite a few tiny capillaries in Mom's eyes that have ruptured, and the blurry amoeba-shaped spot she sees in the corner of her left eye means that one of those little ruptures is in her field of vision. The retinologist says that the weird part is that despite all these tests she's run, she still can't determine what's causing the fluid buildup. So the specialist ordered a bloodwork panel and a chest x-ray just to rule out any other lurking health problems.

If the bloodwork and x-ray turn out fine, the retinologist says she'll prescribe some anti-inflammatory drops and see what happens from there. Mom's follow-up appointment is next Tuesday. Until then, we're taking it easy and hoping for the best.

Thanks for your good wishes!

Lengendary UGA broadcaster Larry Munson dies at age 89 | ajc.com

Lengendary UGA broadcaster Larry Munson dies at age 89 | ajc.com

Catch a poem like the dragon's wings

Asia's "Heat of the Moment" came out in April 1982, according to the Music Video Database. I was nine years old then, and don't recall having heard this song at the time. But that's probably because most of the adults Pixie and I knew listened to country music. Don't even get me started on crappy early-'80s country. We'll be here all day. "Swangin'," anybody? Yes, I know the song's title is "Swingin'," but John Anderson pronounces it "Swangin'." It drove me nuts as a kid, and still does today.

Oh! Where were we?

Anyhow, I didn't hear this song until I was well into high school. But it's another Godley & Creme project, and I couldn't resist posting it. Watching all these '80s music videos, I feel as if I'm looking into another universe.

Friday Mama-Get-UP! Kittehs: 11/18/11

Umm, kitteh? How am I supposed to get out of bed if you're weighing me down? Hmm, kitteh?

Kamakura's taken to staying indoors now that nighttime temperatures are (mostly) at or below freezing. She's a sweet and affectionate kitteh, especially in the morning when it's time to head back outside. She snuggled right in the middle of my back just as I was about to crawl out of bed and feed the cats. Luckily, I was able to maneuver the camera to take the picture.

Hip to Be Godley & Creme

Growing up, I was obsessed with Huey Lewis & the News. My childhood nickname is a play on that of the band's original bassist, Mario Cipollina. He was my heartthrob all through junior high school. I still love HLN's music, and have nearly every album they've ever made. Sadly, I've seen them in concert only once, in January 1987.

As with the other videos I've posted lately, Godley & Creme directed this one. As much as I love Huey's good looks, the camera work gets old after about 90 seconds.

Boston baked BLEH

It's finally autumn. All the cooking magazines now feature much heartier recipes than the light, cool fare we read about all summer long. This is wonderful. While I love love LOVE seasonal food and fresh vegetables right out of the garden, I also love stick-to-your-ribs food.

Meat, potatoes, crusty bread, and thick, savory sauces make me happy. But many of these dishes sit too heavy in my stomach on days when, at 10:00am, it's already 95 degrees in the shade. (See: Summer of 2011 in Small Town, Ga.) So when the leaves begin turning in September and October, I can at last make a pan of buttermilk cornbread and NOT expire from heatstroke. I can let lentil-sausage stew simmer in a cast-iron Dutch oven for an hour or so and NOT drench my clothes with sweat. It's finally cool enough to make and enjoy breads and biscuits, chilis and soups, casseroles and pot roasts, jambalaya and shrimp etouffee.

But one all-weather food tradition I have never understood is baked beans. Or, as people call them down here, Boston baked beans. This mainstay of cookouts, church gatherings, and tailgate parties reminds me a little of a holiday fruitcake---everybody wants to know who's bringing it, but nobody actually eats it. Every cookout I've ever attended has included lots of Boston baked beans. And lots of leftover Boston baked beans.

On the surface, the recipe sounds great. Tomato puree (or ketchup)...brown sugar...navy beans...crispy crumbled bacon and flavorful drippings...a dash of Worcestershire sauce...a dash of vinegar or mustard, perhaps...and other secret ingredients depending on the recipe. Simmer over low heat for hours on end, stirring occasionally. Serve piping hot with hamburgers, hot dogs, BBQ pork, fried chicken or fish, potato salad, and deviled eggs. But what happens between prep and final product is anybody's guess. How does this legendary dish go from savory to willfully bland? "I'm mushy, I'm tasteless, and I like it that way!" baked beans seem to shout. Taste buds everywhere declare mutiny. You want flavor; you get gas. It's a helluva trade-off.

Recently, I conducted an informal baked beans survey. Of the 20 people I asked, only two said they like the dish. TWO out of 20! A measly 10 percent! Not even the Colonel---who will generally eat anything that doesn't try to eat him first---likes baked beans. Keep in mind, too, that the Colonel is the same man who says, "Cheese makes everything better. If you put cheese on a turd, I'd probably eat it."

So cheese makes a steaming dog loaf delectable, but it can't rescue the vaguely brown-sugared mush in Aunt Geneva's old Corningware casserole dish. Don't bother looking for the lid, Auntie---I think we have our answer. If cheese can't save it, it cannot be saved. What Would Jesus Do? He would throw baked beans the side-eye before skipping off to heal some more lepers. That's what He'd do.

Okay, so my research method is decidedly unscientific. Still, I wonder what might happen if I apply the preliminary data to the rest of the population. "Mm-hmm, right, Kitteh. The world would totally explode if you did that." Yes, it just might, from the noxious gases generated by moldy dishes of Boston baked BLEH that nobody (or their grandma) will touch.

If the majority of people neither like nor eat baked beans, then why does everyone insist on having them at potlucks? Are they a traditional food that nobody wants to admit is long past its prime? Have Americans been brainwashed by decades of soggy canned Beanie Weenies into thinking that "nasty and bland" are how baked beans are supposed to taste?

They're more popular, tasty, nutritious, versatile, and economical than ever before. From lentils to chickpeas to pintos to cannellini to edamame to kidneys to frijoles negros, beans are awesome. Dried, canned, or frozen, they generally have a long shelf life. With just a few inexpensive ingredients, it's easy to transform a pot of humble legumes into a delicious and satisfying meal. So why are we stuck with the pitiful excuse for a side dish that is baked beans? Somebody help me out here, because I'm lost on this one.

Birthday brulee

On Wednesday, the Colonel treated me to a belated birthday lunch. The meal was wonderful---blackened salmon with green tomato relish and Boursin cheese grits, anyone? Pumpkin creme brulee rounded out the meal, complete with the candy-corn pumpkin on top.

At this birthday lunch, I also ate a Brussels sprout...and liked it. For the first time in my life. They were meant mostly as a garnish, lightly sauteed with olive oil and thick-cut organic bacon, topped with freshly ground pepper and sea salt. They were still crunchy, but didn't have the characteristic boiled cabbage taste or texture. As El Seebeno says, "Well. I'll be damned."

Law & Order SVU + Sesame Street = LULZ

Beyond. Awesome.

IZ MAH BIRFDAY!!!

From I Can Has Cheezburger. (Where else?)

I haz 38 yrs today! Rly sry, I iz teechin 4 mai birfday, butt (!) iz okais. Will celebrayt later lulz!

Another Sunday video

With the recent comments about Godley & Creme having directed some of the best-known music videos of the 1980s, I thought I'd post another of their creations. Wonder what Wang Chung are up to these days? Song-wise, I like "Dance Hall Days" a lot better than this number.

Which music videos do you think are the most memorable of the 1980s? Good or bad—let's hear 'em!

Friday Extra-Lazy Kittehs: 11/4/11

Photo snapped very quickly through the screen door---Davy (aka Hook, Captain Hook, and Shithook) lies down to laplaplap water from the water dish on the front porch. In El Seebeno's words, "Hook! You sorry sack of shit!" Hook is by far the largest and most in charge of ANY of my cats. While Clarky weighs in at 17 pounds, Hook breaks Mama's bathroom scale at 22 pounds. And that's *after* having been an outdoor cat for two years!

The dish is a galvanized steel chicken-feed pan from Small Town Farm Supply. Hundreds of uses for this huge, shiny, handy bowl, even beyond chicken/kitteh food and water! Every household needs one.

In which my mother tells it like it is

ME: Oh, hell.
MOM: What?
ME: Kim Kardashian's got a new line of clothes at Sears. Ugh!
MOM: Well. Sometimes whores need nice clothes, too.

What font was that, again?

[An exchange on the discussion board of the Technical Communication Practices course I'm taking.]

PROFESSOR: Document design is just as important as content, whether in print or online. Be careful with fonts! If you've got 50 pages of text, pick something intriguing yet readable that won't give your reader a headache.
STUDENT 1: That means no Comic Sans, right?
PROF: Right. NO COMIC SANS! Ever again! And no Times New Roman, either! I will take off a substantial number of points if you use them in your Feasibility Report.
STUDENT 2: I see what you mean about Comic Sans...but no more TNR?
PROF: They're overused, boring, conventional, amateurish-looking. They make your document look like it's stuck in 1994. Plus they're hard on the eyes for long stretches of copy.
STUDENT 3: Will you count off if my report's in Wingdings?
PROF: No, only Klingon. I'm kinda rusty on that one.

Smokey appears here with my copy of Jane K. Cleland's Business Writing for Results, one of our class's texts. I recommend it highly!