Memorial Day Chicken Monday: 5/30/11

Hope this finds everyone having a nice Memorial Day. Henrietta, like the rest of the HKC chickens, plans to spend her holiday eating and walking around outdoors. Of course, that's what they do every day.

It's not easy being Squirrel.

Especially when so much in life disappoints you. Squirrel just expects the worst from every situation; that way, she's always right, and always gets to be herself: Little Miss Disappointment. Is there a beauty pageant by that name? No? Well, there should be.

Or maybe Squirrel's thinking about how sad and lonely Law & Order: SVU will be without Christopher Meloni next season. [deep sigh]

Friday Kittehs: 5/27/11

Hope this finds everyone gearing up for a nice Memorial Day Weekend. As a cat, Ernge never feels the need to prepare for a long holiday weekend; she's ready to relax anytime, anywhere. That's how kittehs roll.

Friday Kittehs: 5/20/11

"Oh, don't mind me! I'm just collapsing at the tail-end of a strenuous nine years!"

Ernge isn't that old (I think she was born in 2007), but she's speaking for her Mama in this photo. On Mon 16 May, I finished all my out-processing tasks at Division II University and drove away from campus a free woman after six-and-a-half years there, and after nine solid years of teaching, without a break.

I don't yet have another job lined up. This is partly due to the nature of teaching—I wouldn't be able to start a new job until late May—and partly due to my complete lack of energy for doing anything beyond teaching and grading papers those last few months of Spring Semester. (One of the double-edged swords of ADHD is complete focus on whatever one is doing. For me, I can do other things, OR I can teach; there is absolutely no in-between.)

Luckily, I had enough foresight to put my 2009 and 2010 tax refunds in the bank, so I have a couple months' salary tucked away and am not completely hosed. As we all know, though, not everyone finds a new job within two months of leaving their old one, so I'm hoping for the best. I've put in applications at 15 or 16 places in the last couple of weeks, and will start up another round early next week. Having mostly gotten my past jobs via direct contact with supervisors—that is, by sending my resume and letter directly to whomever is in charge of a college's English Department—I have zero idea what to expect when applying to jobs via websites such as Monster, CareerBuilder, and Indeed. For all its benefits to humankind, the Internet has unfortunately removed any remaining shreds of responsibility that Human Resources has toward applicants. Or should that be "supplicants?" Six of one, half-dozen of another.

"So what ARE you doing in the meantime, Miss K?" Oh, you mean besides either collapsing in exhaustion or shaking with fear? I'm getting some rest, believe it or not. It's weird not to have that dark cloud of syllabi and grade appeals and pissed-off students hanging over my head. I'm working on my novel in very tiny steps; it's turning out to be tougher than I'd anticipated, but that's all right. I'm also working on a couple articles that I hope to submit to national and regional magazines by the fall. They're mostly pieces on local history, country music figures, and tourist spots in Georgia and Alabama. The Colonel and I plan to travel a lot this summer as he prepares to climb Mt. Rainier in September. And of course I'll be posting on E&P during these adventures. Chances are that new posts will be up much later in the day than they have in the past; I tend to do my best creative writing in the morning, so I save the hours before lunch as a solid, uninterrupted block of time.

But most surprisingly (to me, anyway), I'm starting up my own freelance commercial writing business, and I already have my first paying client, a former student who's in the automotive industry and for whom I'm creating a couple sophisticated PowerPoint slideshows that he'll be using at investors' meetings. And through LinkedIn and networking with a few former colleagues, I've found some leads for more work...and just within a week of putting out the word! So far, it's not a windfall by any means—a few hundred bucks here and there—but it's a great way to get my name out there. And as we used to say when I danced at the Jaguar Lounge, "Well, ____ bucks? Still a lot better than ZERO bucks."

So that's the news from the Happy Kitten Cottage. What's new with you?

Friday Kittehs: 5/13/11

Clark is soooo relaxed lying in the bathroom sink after breakfast, with his paw propped up on the rim of the basin. But we know what his expression actually means: "Time to let the water drip, Mama."

At 9:15 yesterday morning, I turned in my final set of final grades at Division II University. While I'm still tying up loose ends with students' papers, I can honestly say that I haven't felt this relieved in many, many years. What will it feel like not to have a pile of ungraded papers always at the back of my mind? I don't know, since I'm not yet officially separated from D2U...but I sure feel good this morning.

A "paws" for thought with Hobo Kitty

What a thoughtful expression Hobo's wearing, and while lying on the veterinarian's exam table, too! But that's my sweet "peanut butter & chocolate" tortie girl. With her terrible tooth and gum problems, Hobo sees Dr. Bill* about once a month for a check-up and a big steroid-antibiotic combo injection. Fortunately, the Happy Kitten Cottage is only 1.5 miles from the clinic, so any feline opera productions are mercifully short. What's funny is that Hobo seems to enjoy the time we spend together once she's out of the cage in the exam room. She chirpy-meows and purrs like crazy as she rolls all over the exam table to play "Pet My Tummy, Mama." And she doesn't try to hide, but instead investigates the exam room, checking out the photos of Dr. Bill's family, the computer screen, the small prep sink, the feline anatomy poster just above the table, and so on. She had just tucked her front paws under in "classic cat" fashion when I scratched the top of her head and snapped this photo.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY 2011!

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there, whether to people or critters...and to my Mom in particular! This photo is from the latest set from the Book of Roof saga; cute little Bella is thinking about darting into the house while Mom's not looking.

I am incredibly lucky to have such an awesome, funny, talented, and caring mother—and I'm so glad to be able to share her adventures with you here on E&P. Here's to awesome Moms! [raises glass]

Friday Kittehs: 5/6/11

Clark's pose says everything there is to say about the kind of week this has been. TGIF, indeed.

A sewing intervention

[Weekday afternoon at the fabric shop.]

MOM: Okay. Whaddya think?
ME: Think of what?
MOM: Overall shorts in these three colors.
ME: Is the fabric heavy enough?
MOM: [feels] Oh, yeah.
ME: Shouldn't you get some of this khaki twill? If you're gonna work around the house or in the yard in your overall shorts, maybe they should be in a color you don't really care if you get stained. Kind of like Dickies, ya know?
MOM: [surveying bolts of fabric] Mmmm...maybe next time. I'm going with these.
ME: Spring green, Kraft American Singles yellow, and orange.
MOM: Right.
ME: Are you sure you want to make another pair of Home Depot-orange overall shorts?
MOM: Well...as long as I remember not to wear them to Home Depot, I'm okay.
ME: Hahahahaaa!
MOM: I'm walking around looking at plumber's cement and wire nuts and grout, and all these people I don't even know keep coming up to me, asking if I know where shit is. "Wait, I don't work—oh. I'm wearing orange overall shorts."
ME: So you're just doing these colors?
MOM: Yeah.
ME: A pair of orange, a pair of yellow, and a pair of green overall shorts.
MOM: [frantically gathering up fabric] NO! All in the SAME pair! SAME! PAIR!
ME: [reaching into purse for cell phone] You have lost your marbles.
MOM: Have NOT! Iz TASTEFUL! Kthxbai!
ME: I'm calling Pixie. Time for a sewing intervention.

The Book of Roof, Chapter 5

1 Yea, now thou art mostly caught up on the back-story of the Book of Roof.
2 And it came to pass that the ends of the rafters on the Happy Kitten Cottage were rotten and evil-looking;
3 And as the Scriptures saith:
4 If thy 50-year-old tar paper causeth thee to have a leaky roof, cast it away;
5 If thy rotten rafters offend thee, cut them off.
6 And Mom and El Seebeno followed the Scriptures faithfully.


7 But the Scriptures saith not a word about walking under ladders that are placed in the way of doors whilst thou puttest on thy nail apron;
8 Nor saith the Scriptures a word about walking under ladders that are placed in the way of doors whilst thou puttest on thy nail apron with low-slung Dogs underfoot;



9 Nor saith the Scriptures a word about walking under ladders that are placed in front of doors whilst thou puttest on thy nail apron with low-slung Dogs and small yappy Dogs underfoot;
10 Yea, the Scriptures hath left us high and dry on this one.
11 So, verily, verily, I say unto thee: Pet thee any Dogs that make haste to help thee whilst thou build a new roof.


12 And unto the Dogs: Walkest thou under that ladder, and sniff thee thy fellow Dog's butt when thou walkest under that ladder;
13 For superstition applieth not to Dogs.

14 And it was late in the afternoon on the third day when El Seebeno visited Mom, and he spake unto her:
15 "Lo, there is a fire here! I hast heard a smoke alarm!"
16 And Mom spake unto El Seebeno, "Thy ears and thy nose deceivest thee, and they deceivest whosoever the hell this 'Lo' may be;
17 For no fire hearest thou, nor no smoke smellest thou.
18 A mighty wind breaketh from thy posterior; thou hast but cut the cheese.
19 Now get thee downwind from me, and cutteth thee the string."

20 And El Seebeno paid Mom no heed, and instead lifted more decking up onto the roof of the Happy Kitten Cottage.
21 "Needst thou my help?" asked Kitteh.
22 And El Seebeno replied unto Kitteh, "Nay, I hast the wood."
23 And Mom spake unto both of them: "Yea, he saidst wood,"

24 And El Seebeno again paid Mom no heed, and hoisted himself up to the roof.

25 But on the ladder, El Seebeno was met with his greatest enemy:
26 For a plague of wasps had besieged the Happy Kitten Cottage.
27 "Seest thou not these wawsts, Kitteh?" cried El Seebeno. "Get thee the wawst spray, for to vanquish these wawsts!"
28 And Mom laughed at El Seebeno's saying sibboleth instead of shibboleth:
29 "Hearken unto thy stepfather, Kitteh! Wawst spray!" Mom said, and laughed heartily again.
30 And El Seebeno said, "Hurry with the wawst spray, and vanquish these minions of hell;
31 For this thang is as big as my left nut."

32 But the wawsts wasps soon flew away, and Kitteh's frantic search for the can of spray was in vain.
33 And late in the evening, it came to pass that Mom had finally found her sunglasses, after being without them all day;
34 And they were not in the garbage bin, but in her coat pocket the whole time.

35 "Yea, Kitteh," said El Seebeno, "thy roof lookest like shit."
36 And Mom said, "Thy house shall hereafter be called the Happy Kitten Can of Worms."

37 And Mom pointed for Kitteh to look at something,
38 And El Seebeno yet again cut a muffin,

39 And he blamed it on the Dogs in the yard as he pointed at something and looked official.

40 And the mess inside the roof made Kitteh weep sorely;
41 For the attic had both roll and loose insulation, yet it mattered not;
42 Her kitchen was still hot in summer and cold in winter, with or without the oven or the dryer of clothing.
43 And the rotten ends of the rafters over here also offended Mom and El Seebeno;
44 And they followed the Scriptures as before, and cut off the other offending and rotten rafters.

45 And they pried away the rotten decking from six or eight "begats" past;

46 And put in its place sturdy new one-inch CDX decking.
47 And Mom and El Seebeno were very tired at the end of the third day;
48 But Kitteh was happy and proud to have such a mother and stepfather,
49 Who wouldst lay down their vacation time for her roof.

Jacket WIN

Mom says this is jacket-weight fabric. I say it's EPIC WIN.