Student Essay Insanity #64!

Will you still love S.E.I.
When it's 64?

All bad Beatles references aside, it's time for more Student Essay Insanity! This week's picks of the nose litter are from 2008's Comp I & II research papers. I chose these not necessarily for their mistakes, but because of their sometimes-clunky wording (in a final draft, no less—Lord help us) and how poorly they make their points on otherwise interesting and timely topics.

Each blooper is from a different author and paper, unless otherwise noted. YES, they are ALL final drafts. I couldn't make this up. And, as always, it's all for real: real students, real essays, real(ly) bad.

I shit you not.

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• When talking about rock 'n roll or any other of the aforementioned genres, the first ideal that has been crammed into humans' mind is the sudden impulse to question the references that each song makes. Forget enjoying music for the sheer pleasure; rather, dissect it, skewing the lyrics in a way that makes them seem bad in a far-off context. Albeit there are songs with noticeable sexual and mature references, they will be explored later.
  
• The phrase "child abuse," is something that one may find hard to define because the definitions have expanded over the years. Since 1964, when the first child abuse reporting law was written, most of us have not taken child abuse seriously. ... [Author and book title] have touched the heart of many people and brought awareness of child abuse to our attention. This is an aspiring book that shows determination through a little boy's eyes. ...As a young child only his dreams barely kept him alive and motivated to go on and fight stronger.
  
• The Spanish Civil War began as a fight for change, as civil wars tend to do.
• There are many relationships that tend to exist in today's society.
  

And our last one from a paper covering, among several other works, Jamaica Kincaid's short-short story "Girl." This student both 1) started at the very last minute and 2) misread the text's purpose and meaning. And to think I spent all that time in my office, so students could come talk to me.

• The narrator had strong view points and talked to the girl straight forward. In the text, the narrator gave the girl a list of chores for the entire week and also gave her lessons on how to act in different situations. The narrator also continued to warn the girl that if she did not follow her directions and advice, the girl will grow up to be a slut. At this time, women were still under men's controls.